I'm sorry for what you're going through but I'm sure there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

This all reminds me of some of the story arcs from The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel on Amazon Prime.

It's a GREAT show/story if you haven't seen it. Midge gets into stand-up comedy in the late 1950s because her husband leaves her, so she winds up "venting'' on stage, telling her stories. She and her husband almost get back together a few times, but the fact that her JOB is to tell stories about people in her life and get laughs is a great obstacle.

Your friends have little to complain about in comparison (you're not telling these stories on national TV or a stage where most of the world will know and their identity is pretty safe).

Keep the faith. You're doing what you are called to do, and someone who loves you for you will love you even more for who you are and what you do, not less. It will happen!