Debbie: I am praying for you and your family. And I definitely agree there is a Plan, that everything God makes is good. But he also is able to take suffering and blend it with his love to make a new Divine Mercy. This also makes me think of the Jobe Syndrome (a new book I reviewed last March). Think it might help:

https://medium.com/catholic-way-home/jobe-syndrome-and-scientific-evidence-for-the-existence-of-god-and-evil-937ed680ccf2?sk=1e5b76abaad2145221f5c25bb5e00979